i'm one who would dwell in the past for as long as i can breathe. i can make up excuses and formulate reasons on why it's ok, perfectly rational. reasons like.. "well, that's what the present is made out of"; or somethin like.. "i'm just lookin back to remind myself of the things that i learned." right. also, cliched. today, lookin through some pieces of my past.. i asked myself, i asked even before this reminisceance-- have i been makin the right decisions in the recent past and present? could i have made some things work out in the past? could i have mended things? could i still? to the latter two, the answer is yes. sure, i could have mended things. even more so, i sure could have made some things work out... and very easily, i could turn around and do just that. turn the hour glass the other side up. so why won't i? after all, by the way things are workin out, it woud seem ike the more practical choice. pick up where things were left off or better yet, start a new journey with the same old people. can i? can one really do that? new journey, same people. that's a thought. then again, these same people that we speak of, are they in fact the same people? have the years not changed them? have the distance not made them a different person? have they not grown through time? of course they have! that's the amazing thing about life, it doesn't wait. everyone grows, everything ages, and most things change. one can in fact turn around and say, oh you know what.. i can fix this. i can make this work. and one can if those involved have not yet changed, have not yet grown. because the reason for one's confidence in fixing things is being familiar with the parts, memorizing them even. but wait.. why can't they just work around the new, revised parts? well i guess because, when you turn back to the past, when you pick up from where you left off, you expect things to start from there. to start from a point where the old things worked and had fit perfectly. so no way that can work. it's like finding a chest of old clothes, from when you were a child and things were simple and carefree.. so to relive the memories, you put the old clothes back on. squeezing into that old shirt would only look ridiculous. pulling into those old jeans would only rip the seams. thrusting your feet into old shoes can cause injury. it just can't work. all would need to be altered, unlike memories. if the past is treasured in the mind and left there, i think things may remain as functional as they are. nothing needs to be altered, nothing needs to be forced into place, nothing breaks. everything would run as smoothly as they should and the past? well.. in the mind's little safe is where that belongs. so i think no coulda beens woulda been the way they shoulda been.
...what's the deal with the age verification thing?! stoopid! they either need your credit card info for instant verification or one of a whole freakin list of identifications for several business daysverification!!! what he hell?! all i want is to freakin read the blogs! free porn sites don't even care if you're two and wanna see boobies! which is probably why they don't care unless you were brought up in bottle feeding. you probably won't care about xanga or their ratings anyway if you're still suckin off of a bottle for whatever reason. nor would you care about the whole credit card and id dramas. nor would you be able to read this. but the point is, what's the deal with that, adult subscribers who can actually read the posts?!
where do i complain?
btw, maj... i can't go to your page because yours is rated explicit... lol.
sorry for the angry blog, devoted xanga-crazed readers and bloggers, or ginger. you never give me eprops anyway.
now that that's out, who wants some fresh tilapia? i bought a whole box...
